05-28-2016, 04:23 AM
(05-27-2016, 02:04 AM)Flavivs Aetivs Wrote: You have to have an account to join the session. You can read it though here:
https://www.academia.edu/25346482/Chapte...nian_Plain
Yeah I have an Academia account, it's a great site. Strange that it wouldn't work. This second link is good though.
It's well-written. I just have a few nitpicky things. I should note that I'm a professional editor by trade, not a historian, so I'm not really scrutinizing the history here, just spelling/grammar/punctuation.
Page 1- Sometimes you write "Catalaunian fields," other times "Catalaunian Fields" with a capital F. It should be consistent.
Page 2- In "Treasure of Pouan," you have the comma inside the quotation marks, but in "Heva", it's outside of them. The first is correct in American English, the second is correct in British English. The same goes for periods. Just another consistency thing, it varies throughout the paper.
Page 4- Here, you capitalize the D in "Simon MacDowall." Earlier, it was "Macdowall."
Page 6- In the first sentence, beginning "It is known that steppe armies," you should use a semicolon instead of a regular colon, and put a comma after "Strategikon," before "which." A few sentences later, "the Alans were therefore perfectly suited to this task" should also be preceded by a semicolon.
Page 7- "a very well organized Germanic opponent" should be "well-organized" with a hyphen; it's a compound modifier. Also, use "something to which they had been forced to adapt" instead of "something they had been forced to adapt to."
In the next paragraph, "any army numbering less than 24,000 men" should use "fewer" instead of "less;" quantities of men are measured as discrete units, not degrees.
Also, use "among" instead of "amongst." And a few sentences later, in "not enough information survives in order to say what kind of a deployment," the words "in order" are superfluous.
Page 9- Tackholm's name is "Tackhom," missing the L. It should have an L, right? Either it's wrong there or it's wrong on the previous page.
Page 11- Near the bottom of the page, "close combat situation" should be hyphenated, "close-combat situation."
Page 12- In the second sentence, "in order" is superfluous. Deleting it doesn't change the meaning of the sentence.
In the second-to-last sentence, "unable to venture out of their own camp due to the Roman archers" should be changed to "because of the Roman archers" instead of "due to." Due to and because of are not interchangeable. (Like I said, nitpicky, but it's a rule).
Page 16- The T in "Gregory of tours" should be capitalized.