11-04-2016, 01:30 AM
Ancient Chinese Found at Lindisfarne
A recent article in the Daily News has announced the amazing find of 2,000 oriental artifacts at Lindisfarne. The estimated 3,300-year-old relics included thousands of egg rolls in a huge bronze container, a bone with ancient script, and the skeletal remains of a Chinese woman.
"The egg rolls were perfectly preserved," gasped Prof. Ewing Hartley of Dublin College, "perhaps because they were stored in a covered bronze container." According to Hartley, the rolls were found in heavily congealed pork fat.
The bronze container has been dated to c. 1,300 BC. Notice the tight-fitting cover.
Fifteen feet from the container, archaeologists discovered the skeleton of a woman. "Definitely Chinese," claims Margaret Winthrop, a forensic reconstructionist at Dublin. Working with cranial measurements, Ms. Winthrop created this physical likeness of the ancient woman. "We believe she was the chef," Winthrop claimed.
Script scratched into the bone fragment has been deciphered by expert Wushu Wang at Beijing. "Simply amazing," claimed Wang, "It says-- 'Eat these while they're fresh. No MSG.' "
"The idea of Chinese in Ancient Britain becomes poppy-cock. I'm absolutely blown away by this discovery," notes Prof. Hartley, "This is the biggest thing since the discovery of fire. Amazing! Lindisfarne was the home of a substantial Chinese population when we consider the number of egg rolls and size of the container."
The artifacts will be on display at Lindisfarne Castle until April 1st, when they will be shipped to Beijing for further study. Due to uncommonly wide interest, the traffic to Lindisfarne has increased by 600 percent. So, please be cautious in your travels.
A recent article in the Daily News has announced the amazing find of 2,000 oriental artifacts at Lindisfarne. The estimated 3,300-year-old relics included thousands of egg rolls in a huge bronze container, a bone with ancient script, and the skeletal remains of a Chinese woman.
"The egg rolls were perfectly preserved," gasped Prof. Ewing Hartley of Dublin College, "perhaps because they were stored in a covered bronze container." According to Hartley, the rolls were found in heavily congealed pork fat.
The bronze container has been dated to c. 1,300 BC. Notice the tight-fitting cover.
Fifteen feet from the container, archaeologists discovered the skeleton of a woman. "Definitely Chinese," claims Margaret Winthrop, a forensic reconstructionist at Dublin. Working with cranial measurements, Ms. Winthrop created this physical likeness of the ancient woman. "We believe she was the chef," Winthrop claimed.
Script scratched into the bone fragment has been deciphered by expert Wushu Wang at Beijing. "Simply amazing," claimed Wang, "It says-- 'Eat these while they're fresh. No MSG.' "
"The idea of Chinese in Ancient Britain becomes poppy-cock. I'm absolutely blown away by this discovery," notes Prof. Hartley, "This is the biggest thing since the discovery of fire. Amazing! Lindisfarne was the home of a substantial Chinese population when we consider the number of egg rolls and size of the container."
The artifacts will be on display at Lindisfarne Castle until April 1st, when they will be shipped to Beijing for further study. Due to uncommonly wide interest, the traffic to Lindisfarne has increased by 600 percent. So, please be cautious in your travels.
Alan J. Campbell
member of Legio III Cyrenaica and the Uncouth Barbarians
Author of:
The Demon's Door Bolt (2011)
Forging the Blade (2012)
"It's good to be king. Even when you're dead!"
Old Yuezhi/Pazyrk proverb
member of Legio III Cyrenaica and the Uncouth Barbarians
Author of:
The Demon's Door Bolt (2011)
Forging the Blade (2012)
"It's good to be king. Even when you're dead!"
Old Yuezhi/Pazyrk proverb
