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JRSCline · 09-25-2002, 06:34 PM

Describe this Zoot character so I know how I'm supposed to act at the Xanten RAT vignette of Monty Python. I confess I haven't seen Holy Grail, other than snippets. 
 
J.

***Praefectusclassis*** · 09-25-2002, 06:39 PM

Let's say that Zoot is the chief nun in a convent of young & pretty women who are just longing for a big strong man to come along. <!-- 
Greets 
 
Jasper

JRSCline · 09-25-2002, 06:55 PM

Please be more specific, my child! 
 
Mother Superior

***Praefectusclassis*** · 09-25-2002, 07:04 PM

Let the script speak for itself: 
 
[trumpets] 
NARRATOR: 
The Tale of Sir Galahad. 
[boom] 
[wind] 
[howl] 
[howl] 
[boom] 
[angels singing] 
[howl] 
[boom] 
[howl] 
[boom] 
[pound pound pound] 
GALAHAD: 
Open the door! Open the door! 
[pound pound pound] 
In the name of King Arthur, open the door! 
[creak] 
[thump] 
[creak] 
[boom] 
GIRLS: 
Hello! 
ZOOT: 
Welcome, gentle Sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax. 
GALAHAD: 
The Castle Anthrax? 
ZOOT: 
Yes. Oh, it's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice and we will attend to your every, every need! 
GALAHAD: 
You are the keepers of the Holy Grail? 
ZOOT: 
The what? 
GALAHAD: 
The Grail. It is here. 
ZOOT: 
Oh, but you are tired and you must rest awhile. Midget! Crapper! 
MIDGET and CRAPPER: 
Yes, O Zoot? 
ZOOT: 
Prepare a bed for our guest. 
MIDGET and CRAPPER: 
Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!... 
ZOOT: 
Away! Away, varletesses. The beds here are warm and soft and very, very big. 
GALAHAD: 
Well, look, I-- I, uh-- 
ZOOT: 
What is your name, handsome knight? 
GALAHAD: 
'Sir Galahad... the Chaste'. 
ZOOT: 
Mine is 'Zoot'. Just 'Zoot'. Oh, but come. 
GALAHAD: 
Look, please! In God's name, show me the Grail! 
ZOOT: 
Oh, you have suffered much. You are delirious. 
GALAHAD: 
No, look. I have seen it! It is here in this-- 
ZOOT: 
Sir Galahad! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality. 
GALAHAD: 
Well, I-- I, uh-- 
ZOOT: 
Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen- and- a- half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights. Nay. Nay. Come. Come. You may lie here. Oh, but you are wounded! 
GALAHAD: 
No, no. It's-- it's nothing. 
ZOOT: 
Oh, you must see the doctors immediately! No, no, please! Lie down. 
[clap clap] 
PIGLET: 
Well, what seems to be the trouble? 
GALAHAD: 
They're doctors?! 
ZOOT: 
Uh, they... have a basic medical training, yes. 
GALAHAD: 
B-- but-- 
ZOOT: 
Oh, come. Come. You must try to rest. Doctor Piglet! Doctor Winston! Practise your art. 
WINSTON: 
Try to relax. 
GALAHAD: 
Are you sure that's absolutely necessary? 
PIGLET: 
We must examine you. 
GALAHAD: 
There's nothing wrong with that! 
PIGLET: 
Please. We are doctors. 
GALAHAD: 
Look! This cannot be. I am sworn to chastity. 
PIGLET: 
Back to your bed! At once! 
GALAHAD: 
Torment me no longer. I have seen the Grail! 
PIGLET: 
There's no grail here. 
GALAHAD: 
I have seen it! I have seen it! 
[clank] 
I have seen-- 
GIRLS: 
Hello. 
GALAHAD: 
Oh. 
GIRLS: 
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. 
GALAHAD: 
Zoot! 
DINGO: 
No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo. 
GALAHAD: 
Oh, well, excuse me, I-- 
DINGO: 
Where are you going? 
GALAHAD: 
I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle! 
DINGO: 
Oh, no. Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot! 
GALAHAD: 
Well, what is it? 
DINGO: 
Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting alight to our beacon, which, I have just remembered, is grail-shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem. 
GALAHAD: 
It's not the real Grail? 
DINGO: 
Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! She is a bad person and must pay the penalty! Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now, we're glad. It's better than some of the previous scenes, I think. 
LEFT HEAD: 
At least ours was better visually. 
DENNIS: 
Well, at least ours was committed. It wasn't just a string of @#%$ jokes. 
OLD MAN: 
Get on with it. 
TIM THE ENCHANTER: 
Yes, get on with it! 
ARMY OF KNIGHTS: 
Yes, get on with it! 
DINGO: 
Oh, I am enjoying this scene. 
GOD: 
Get on with it! 
DINGO: 
[sigh] 
[clunk] 
Oh, wicked, wicked Zoot. Oh, she is a naughty person and she must pay the penalty, and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon: you must tie her down on a bed and spank her. 
GIRLS: 
A spanking! A spanking! 
DINGO: 
You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like, and then, spank me. 
AMAZING: 
And spank me. 
STUNNER: 
And me. 
LOVELY: 
And me. 
DINGO: 
Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking! 
GIRLS: 
A spanking! A spanking! There is going to be a spanking tonight! 
DINGO: 
And after the spanking, the oral sex. 
GIRLS: 
The oral sex! The oral sex! 
GALAHAD: 
Well, I could stay a bit longer. 
LAUNCELOT: 
Sir Galahad! 
GALAHAD: 
Oh, hello. 
LAUNCELOT: 
Quick! 
GALAHAD: 
What? 
LAUNCELOT: 
Quick! 
GALAHAD: 
Why? 
LAUNCELOT: 
You are in great peril! 
DINGO: 
No, he isn't. 
LAUNCELOT: 
Silence, foul temptress! 
GALAHAD: 
You know, she's got a point. 
LAUNCELOT: 
Come on! We will cover your escape! 
GALAHAD: 
Look, I'm fine! 
LAUNCELOT: 
Come on! 
GIRLS: 
Sir Galahad! 
GALAHAD: 
No. Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed! 
DINGO: 
Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed! 
GIRLS: 
Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed! 
LAUNCELOT: 
No, Sir Galahad. Come on! 
GALAHAD: 
No! Really! Honestly, I can cope. I can handle this lot easily. 
DINGO: 
Oh, yes. Let him handle us easily. 
GIRLS: 
Yes. Let him handle us easily. 
LAUNCELOT: 
No. Quick! Quick! 
GALAHAD: 
Please! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred-and-fifty of them! 
DINGO: 
Yes! Yes, he will beat us easily! We haven't a chance. 
GIRLS: 
We haven't a chance. He will beat us easily... 
[boom] 
DINGO: 
Oh, @#%$. 
 
LAUNCELOT: 
We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril. 
GALAHAD: 
I don't think I was. 
LAUNCELOT: 
Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril. 
GALAHAD: 
Look, let me go back in there and face the peril. 
LAUNCELOT: 
No, it's too perilous. 
GALAHAD: 
Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can. 
LAUNCELOT: 
No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on! 
GALAHAD: 
Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril? 
LAUNCELOT: 
No. It's unhealthy. 
GALAHAD: 
I bet you're gay. 
LAUNCELOT: 
No, I'm not. 
Greets 
 
Jasper

09-25-2002, 07:37 PM

LMAO....Jasper, where did you get that.....I mean, you didn't type that whole thing, did you? "A life lived day to day is a life truly lived." 
 
Magnus/Matt 
Optio 
Legio XXX "Ulpia Victrix"

***Praefectusclassis*** · 09-26-2002, 03:35 AM

Typed it from the video of course (and - as you can see - in 9 minutes exactly. 
 
Or you could try searching with Galahad and use cut-'n-paste. Greets 
 
Jasper

**richsc** · 09-26-2002, 07:19 PM

You need to add in a picture of the costumes for Jenny. She can take her pick... Richard Campbell, Legio XX.
http://www.geocities.com/richsc53/studies/

***Praefectusclassis*** · 09-26-2002, 08:12 PM

<img src="http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Scripts/HolyGrail/jpgs/11-zoot.jpg"> 
<img src="http://www.pythonsite.de/gral/8-1.jpg"> Greets 
 
JasperEdited by: <A HREF=http://pub45.ezboard.com/ujasperoorthuys.showPublicProfile?language=EN>Jasper Oorthuys</A> at: 9/26/02 10:14:41 pm

Gaius Octavius Drusus · 09-27-2002, 04:29 PM

Ave, Jenny: 
 
You shouldn'ta oughta asked for that...LMAO 
 
Gaius Octavius Drusus

Gaius Octavius Drusus · 09-27-2002, 04:43 PM

For the next trick, the RAT Board will post the "Ballad of Sir Robin" 
 
Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot. 
He was not afraid to die, oh Brave Sir Robin 
 
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, 
brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin 
 
He was not the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp 
or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken 
 
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away 
and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin 
 
his liver removed and his bowels unplugged, 
and his bottom burned up...... 
 
There's more, but I am laughing so hard right now it 's hard to concentrate....... 
 
Gaius

09-27-2002, 06:17 PM

LMFAO.....ok...that's what I have decided to play as marching music for my legion at events. 
 
PS - thanks for getting that rediculous song in my head Gaius...E EM "A life lived day to day is a life truly lived." 
 
Magnus/Matt 
Optio 
Legio XXX "Ulpia Victrix"

**Robert Vermaat** · 09-28-2002, 11:58 AM

Jenny, 
 
If you really want to know what Zoot talks like, check out this site: www.stone-dead.asn.au/mov...ne-11.html 
 
It has all the lines of the scene, pictures, and spoken text as well! Enjoy! 
 
Cheers, 
Robert 
 
'Cives Francorum, Miles Romanorum'

Caius Fabius · 09-28-2002, 01:26 PM

Okay Jenny, do you have VHS or PAL or DVD? I know what we can get you for Christmas! 
 
"Just before class started, I looked in the big book where all the world's history is written, and it said...." Neil J. Hackett, PhD ancient history, professor OSU, 1987

10-01-2002, 02:16 PM

Guys (and gals!), I just bought the special edition DVD of Holy Grail. It comes with 2 disks, and there are all kinds of cool special features, including a "sing along" to all the songs, including all of Brave Sir Robin's Minstrels, the musical scene from camelot using lego men, and a bunch of documentaries by the cast and crew. There is also an extra 26 seconds of footage.....E EM 
 
Magnus/Matt 
Optio 
Legio XXX "Ulpia Victrix"

JRSCline · 10-11-2002, 10:35 PM

Ah, yes, spankings... And oral s*x, lovely! 
 
Ahem... 
 
I have DVD Region 1. And you may send a Deepeeka wooden paddle along as well. Tee-hee! 
 
Cheerio 
Jenny

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